Archive for July, 2009

Half Blood Prince

July 17, 2009

All right. So it seems the more I think about it, the more my disappointment is hindering my enjoyment of the film. To have waited 8 extra months to see this, it should have been amazing. But instead we’re left with an anticlimactic, fluff-filled inbetweener of a movie. Cutting out crucial plot points to make way for entirely imagined scenes is blasphemy! Although I admit that the extra humor was right on and much needed, I definitely did NOT need a scene of Hermione being all “Is this how it feels when everything sucks and you wanna crawl under a rock?” As if Harry’s vast experience with the opposite sex was supposed to make him some kind of expert in loves labors lost. LAME.

More than anything I detested the convoluted Harry/Ginny relationship—WTF for changing the way they first kiss (overcome by triumph after a quiddich victory) to some super awkward kinky little rendezvous in the ROR.

As if the whole on screen Harry/Ginny attraction wasn’t shallowly developed to begin with, they took away the ONE believable moment that really could have given their relationship a bit of foundation. Ginny is, after all, not just a pretty little thing, but a feisty, athletic & courageous character. It’s no wonder book-Harry loves her. But here, movie-Ginny is no more than a creepy filacio-innuendoing little seductress. “Oh, your shoelace is untied Harry, let me just bend down and tie it for you! Oh, and want to have a little fun while I’m down here?” Also, WTF with the feeding Harry a cookie and that whole “Don’t you trust me?” line? GAG.

GRRRRR.

But even more ridiculous is that:
A.) the movie is called Half Blood Prince. The screenwriter would have done well to remember that we don’t just want to know that it was Snape’s book Harry was cheating with–we want to know WHY the F he calls himself a PRINCE. The whole lack of back story is insane.

B.) Ok, so most films go through a typical pacing structure, wherein the entire plot of the movie leads up to a crucial moment of tension, known by those nerdy book-reading types as a “climax.” I know it’s a big idea here, but um….I think they forgot that part. Not that watching Draco’s secret mission unfold wasn’t fascinating, but I’m just not satisfied with the whole point in infiltration was to culminate with Belatrix pitching a fit and kicking around some goblets in the great hall. I get that they want to save the Hogwarts battle scenario for the last movies, but then they should have really done better justice to the writhing intensity of the Cave sequence, which brings me to

C.) DUMBLEDORE DIES, and I didn’t even care (that much). Where was the unbearable struggle of Harry to force feed old Dumbly the poison? He should have been losing his mind over that shit. Michael Gambon was much improved this time around but this scene needed to verge on being so unbearable for us to watch that we cover our eyes so as not to see the torment of our beloved professor! Only then can we truly understand how far he is brave enough to go in the effort to defeat Voldy, and only then does it make the rest of his final moments on earth that much more emotional.

D.) Harry should absolutely have been paralyzed as he watches the final action unfold from below. Not only would it have been the only believable way for him to be so passive when Snape enters the scene, it would have tied the whole story together full circle (paralleling the train incident at the beginning).

E.) Give the man a proper burial! WTF with the rock concert send off? Yes, I liked the idea of everyone coming together to rid the castle’s sky of the Dark Mark, but they should have beamed up their spells like a Patronus charm rather than the dim glow of some kind of magical bedside reading light. Also, please, please, please no more crying Harry Potter. It’s not good and I don’t like it.

F.) F is for FAILURE. Failure to unravel more than .0002% of the main point of the movie: HORCRUXES. How can Harry possibly hope to understand and uncover them in the next movies if he has nothing to go on? Not enough Voldy memories were shown and Dumbledore provided him very little in this area. This should have had so much weight and gravity to it since it’s the entire key to the downfall of the Dark Lord. Grumble.

Minor Points:

G.) Dumbledore should not make small talk about teen love. Never ask about Harry’s lovelife, Old Man.

H.) I liked when Harry touched the ring horcrux and had that whole dark magic flashback. Nicely done. Like the low vibrations of the One Ring.

I.) Also, not enough Weasly’s Wizard Wheezies. Loved it. Wanna work there.

J.) J is for JK Rowling. Overall, the one comforting thing I CAN say is that she signed off on all of this and if she likes the movie, I guess it’s good enough for me!

THE END.

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