Maine: The Way Life Should Be


Friday Night: Waited out the downpour. Drove to Scarborough, ME. Checked into hotel at 8pm. Drove to & parked at downtown Old Orchard Beach. Flashing Lights. Jubilant Palace Playland music. Kids & families eating fried dough and pizza. Saw the beach at night. Rode the Matterhorn. Drove some bumper cars. Ate an ice cream cone. Walked the Pier. Went into a candy store. Was served by a young boy. Commented on Maine’s child labor/summertime help. Spent a long time browsing through a discounted book store. Ransacked the children’s book section. Unearthed some gems. Happily retired to the Hotel for the night. Watched some amazing Youtube videos and laughed insanely at Japanese binocular soccer.


Saturday: Slept til 10am. Missed breakfast. Grabbed Dunkin Donuts. Drove to Old Orchard, stole one of the last precious municipal parking spots. Walked to the beach. Splayed out in the sun & read for a bit. Played in the docile ripple-waves for a while. Water was cold but the sun was hot enough to feel good. Went to Aquaboggan water park. Rode the insanely awesome Stealth twice. Tried the other slides but was less impressed. Realized water slides are violent on your neck. Ate a hot dog & waffle fries. Swam in the wave pool for a while.


Went back to the hotel, showered, and went to the mall. (Because that’s what my family always did on vacation.) Perused Border’s children’s books. Left empty-handed for once. Ate mediocre meal at Ruby Tuesday’s. Went to the wrong Cinemagic, then righted ourselves and found the one with IMAX. Enjoyed my second viewing of Harry Potter on IMAX all by myself. Much better on a grander scale. Was very impressed by the opening sequences in 3D. Met back up with Adam and headed back to the Hotel. Stopped to get a couple pints of Ben & Jerry’s at the convenience store. Arrived at hotel to find there was no parking. Saw cars parked on grass so I decided to follow suit. But my unwisefully chosen patch of grass was a mud pit. Got the car stuck pretty good. Decided to deal with it in the morning. Tried to enjoy the rest of the night with some ice cream.

Sunday: Adam called AAA first thing and got us towed out in a jiffy. Checked out of the hotel and went to Captain’s Galley for breakfast. Stopped off at a roadside flea market where we browsed people’s old unwanted crap including samurai swords, old school nes & atari cartridges, a complete Intellevision system, and a mirad of other dust covered wares. Headed south to Ogunquit. Joined the throngs of tourists parked at the beach. Strolled the beach in the fog. Walked the shops on the streets. Spent a long while in little gift stores. Hunted for trinkety presents for the family. Headed south to go home. Automatic car wash to remove all evidence of the previous night’s mud bath. Tried to find eating establishment for late lunch. Ate some wildy under par Wild Cat Pizza. Fought sleepiness all the way home.

And now here I am, safely home and talking to myself. That’s chaos. And that’s the way it should be.

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